A note before we begin: This is a difficult topic. If you're reading this because it's just happened to you, take a breath. You're not alone, and you will get through this. Focus on one step at a time.
Every experienced sitter who cares for elderly or unwell pets knows this possibility exists. It's not something we dwell on, but it's something we prepare for – because being prepared allows us to handle it with the care and respect the pet and their family deserve.
This guide covers what to do if it happens, how to support the homeowners, and how to process your own grief afterwards.
Before the sit: having the conversation
If you're caring for an elderly or unwell pet, this conversation should happen before the sit begins – ideally during your video call.
Questions to ask the homeowner
- “Given [pet's] age/condition, is there anything I should know about end-of-life care?” – Opens the door gently.
- “If [pet] became seriously unwell, what are your wishes?” – Some owners want heroic measures; others prefer comfort care.
- “Would you want to come home if something happened?” – Some owners would fly back immediately; others would want you to handle things.
- “Do you have preferences for what happens afterwards?” – Cremation, burial, a particular vet to handle arrangements.
These conversations are hard but important. Good homeowners will appreciate your thoughtfulness. If they seem uncomfortable or dismissive, that tells you something about how prepared they are.
If it happens: immediate steps
First: take a moment
If you've just discovered the pet has passed, give yourself a moment. Sit down. Breathe. It's a shock, even if you knew it was possible. The next steps can wait five minutes while you collect yourself.
Then: contact the owner immediately
Should you tell them immediately?
Yes. Always.
Some sitters wonder if they should wait until the owners return, to avoid “ruining their holiday.” This is well-intentioned but wrong.
- • Owners have the right to know immediately
- • They may want to come home
- • They may have specific wishes for the pet's remains
- • Discovering you hid it would destroy trust
- • Daily updates pretending everything is fine would be dishonest
The news will be devastating whenever they hear it. Hearing it promptly, with honesty and compassion, is the right thing to do.
Practical matters
After notifying the owners, you'll need to handle some practical things. Follow their wishes if they have them; otherwise, here's guidance.
Caring for the remains
This depends on the situation and the owner's wishes:
- Contact the vet. Most vets can collect or store the pet, and arrange cremation if that's what the owners want. This is often the simplest option.
- If the vet isn't available immediately... Place the pet on a cool surface, covered with a blanket. In warm weather, a garage or cool room is better than leaving them outside.
- As a last resort... A freezer can preserve the pet until arrangements can be made. This sounds harsh, but it's practical and allows the owners options when they return.
- Never bury without permission. Even if the owners have a garden, burial may not be their wish. Always check first.
If the death was sudden or unexpected
If the pet seemed healthy and the death was unexpected:
- Contact the vet anyway. They may want to examine the pet or can advise on cause of death.
- Document what happened. When did you last see them well? Any symptoms? What did you find? This information helps the vet and the owners understand what happened.
- Don't blame yourself. Sudden deaths happen – heart conditions, strokes, internal issues that showed no symptoms. Unless you did something negligent (which you almost certainly didn't), this is not your fault.
Supporting the owners
- Let them grieve. They may be upset, angry, in denial. Give them space to feel whatever they feel. Don't take it personally if their reaction is difficult.
- Offer to handle practical matters. “I can take [pet] to the vet and arrange cremation if that's what you'd like. Just let me know what you need.”
- Keep them informed. Let them know what's happening, step by step. They're far away and feeling helpless; information helps.
- Share memories if appropriate. “[Pet] was so happy this morning, sunbathing in their favourite spot.” Small details can bring comfort.
- Ask about the sit. Do they want you to stay? Leave early? They may not know immediately – give them time to decide.
Processing your own grief
Sitters often underestimate how much a pet's death affects them. You've been caring for this animal, sometimes intensively. You've bonded. Your grief is real and valid.
- Allow yourself to feel it. Crying doesn't make you unprofessional. It makes you human.
- Talk to someone. A friend, family member, fellow sitter. Don't process this alone.
- Don't rush to your next sit. Give yourself time to recover before caring for another pet.
- Remember: you gave them good care. You were there. They weren't alone. That matters.
The review question
After a pet passes during a sit, reviews can feel awkward for both sides.
- Homeowners: If the sitter handled things well, say so. “[Sitter] cared for [pet] in their final days with incredible compassion. We're grateful they were there.”
- Sitters: Focus on the care you provided and the home. You don't need to mention the death unless you want to. “Beautiful home, wonderful pets. Honoured to have cared for them.”
- It's okay to skip the review. If the situation is too raw, neither party is obligated to leave one. Most platforms don't penalise missing reviews.
A word about guilt
Many sitters feel guilty after a pet dies in their care, even when they did nothing wrong. Thoughts like:
- • “If only I'd noticed sooner...”
- • “Maybe I should have done something differently...”
- • “The owners trusted me and this happened...”
These thoughts are natural but usually unfounded. Pets die. Elderly pets especially. Unless you were genuinely negligent – which is extremely rare – the pet's death was not your fault.
The owner chose to travel knowing their pet's age or condition. They trusted you to care for the pet, and you did. Sometimes care includes being there at the end.
The bottom line
Losing a pet during a housesit is one of the hardest things a sitter can experience. But handling it well – with honesty, compassion, and practical care – is something experienced sitters learn to do.
Have the difficult conversations before the sit. Know what to do if it happens. And remember: being there for a pet in their final moments is an act of love, even when it hurts.